The Meaning Of Life
(part 1)

Bit of an accident really, about 65 million years ago me and the boys were hanging around the office. the boys being "the apocalypse trio" , as they used to ride dinosaurs and calling them "the four Tyrannosaurus Rexians of the apocalypse" was just silly so in the business they were just known as "The Boys". Anyway as you can imagine 400 million years of reaping dinosaurs can get a little tedious and me and the boys were seriously in need of a night out. one day we were poking around the bosses office while he was out and underneath a pile of porno mags we came across a couple of bottles of his special reserve, which is a sort of cross between Jack Daniels and LSD. Mega! we thinks, "Party on!" so I stuffed a couple of bottles under me cloak and off we went.

Where we went is a bit hard to explain, we call it the room it's a glitch in the space time continuum, pretty weird but mega trippy and great fun if you're up for it. There we were four lads on a night out and as usual the stories start flying, typical stuff "Look until you've done it with a diplodocus you haven't done it....."

To cut a long story short the old special reserve was a little stronger than we had anticipated and the boasting turned into dares and general rowdiness. That's when the doormen had enough and kicked us out (if they hadn't made me leave my scythe at the door... well they'd have had a fight on their hands)

Cold, pissed and in the middle of nowhere thoughts turned to work in the morning, "I'm not going to work tomorrow and that's that" I said fired up with Dutch courage " Whoa, you'll be in so much trouble.... probably get the sack!" the boys were right "it's alright for you three, you never bloody do anything, some of us actually have to work when we get there!" I said as I began to fell sorry for myself. "C'mon death, you know we cant do anything 'till there's four of us.... hey why don't you get a few in tonight then the boss wont notice if you're a bit late in the morning...." that was the first good idea these useless bastards had ever had but how could I get away with it. " I've got it, if I chuck one of those big fuck off rocks at earth, it wont get there till tomorrow and I'll be working while I'm asleep!" that was pure bloody genius. "cor!.....That's why you get the big bucks death, you are the smartest fucker ever" If I had been sober I would have realized that a compliment from three drunken losers that spend eternity shagging dinosaurs was not the basis for a major career decision... but hey, death's not for regrets. I picked a reasonably sized rock but just as I was about to throw "Wait!...why don't you throw that big fucker then you can have the whole fucking day off". Ho hum... the impetuosity of youth eh.

Well the rest is history, and the boss still hasn't forgiven me for that but it was worth it, you humans are a much more fun than the dinosaurs ever were.... apart from Diplodocus, the boys were right about that... what a ride.

PS One thing I don't understand is why you humans are so preoccupied with reaching paradise after you die, if you were all a bit nicer to each other and didn't mess the place up so much you might just realise you're already there!